Tips for a better relationship

New relationships are easy, everything is new and exciting. However as time goes on you may feel at ease with each other and take each other for granted. In addition, the stress of work, mortgage, children and other obligations can be overwhelming.

Relationships take time and effort. At times it may seem  much easier to give up and walk away. Here are some tips to consider.

Value each other

  • It is important to make your partner feel valued. When you cut them off or do not acknowledge their concerns they may feel undervalued.
  • Keep the other person in mind. Times will be stressful but consider your partners feelings and needs.
  • Spend quality time together to reconnect. Depending on your schedules this can be everyday or it may involve having a date night once a week.
  •  Spending time in the same room room with each of you on your phone does not necessarily count.
  • Taking the time to reconnect will energize the relationship and help you keep focused on each other.
  • Support each other, if there is good news share in the excitement. Life is full of too many downs, celebrate the ups when they occur.

Communication

  • Communication is the most important thing in a good relationship.
  • Communication comes in many forms, it is not just talking.
  • Body language can display how you may really feel even though you are unable to say it.
  • Generally, if the cues we are receiving are positive we feel safe. On the other hand if we feel someone is not being completely honest are we are picking up negative cues it will make us feel uncomfortable.
  • So much emphasis is put on “talking” but talking can be pointless unless you are both listening to each other. When you actually listen to your partner you are conveying that you respect them and what they say is important to you.
  • If you expect your partner to do something it may be worth discussing with them rather than waiting to see if they do it.  If you have discussed this is what you would like and your partner continues to avoid doing it it may be wise to ask how yourself how important is this to me. Am I being petty. If you do not think you are being petty and you are pretty sure your partner just continues to ignore your pleas than you need to accept this is how it is. There is that old expression you can only change yourself, you cannot change someone else.
  • You may want to seek counseling if you cannot accept thing the way they are an are unable to coomunicate effectively with your partner.

Disagreements

  • Tension between a couple can cause tension, it is best to try to work things out where two parties are in agreement. 
  • Disagreements can be a positive thing, it gives you an opportunity to voice your opinion and learn more about your partner.
  • Yelling does not help, it just leads to frustration.
  • Jabs can lead to resentment.
  • Don’t harp on things that are not important.
  • Learn to pick your battles.
  • If you do argue try to find a solution to the problem rather than just getting frustrated.
  • Be flexible, you will need to compromise. One person cannot get what they want all the time without the other person feeling slighted.

Touch

Touching is important from the time you are an infant, it releases the feel good hormones. Make sure you make the time to touch. Sitting together, hugging and sex are important for a healthy relationship.

Be Positive

Positive people are usually in better relationships. This makes sense. Think of the people you prefer to be around. It is hard to be around a negative person all the time.

Shared interests

Shared interest can help strengthen the relationship. It may be just a daily walk or sharing a cup of morning coffee together.

A common interest in church, a sport or any interest that engages the both of you continue bonds that help keep the relationship fresh and interesting.

“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.”
– Leo F. Buscaglia

Do you have any relationship tips?
Recommended Books

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships

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